Whine into wine?

Or  the more descriptive yet less catchy title: “The Best Wines To Pair With The Most Annoying Social Media Stereotypes“.

If you are even moderately active on any social media channel or platform, by definition, you will be engaging in a quasi-social manner with other humans. And we know that – as humans go – the spectrum ranges from amazing to annoying and everything inbetween. And as the world has gone mad for pairing wine with everything from moods to music, I present to you a useful guide to pairing everyone’s least favourite online stereotype with a wine to make it a bit more bearable.

The beauty of social media is the eclectic mix of individuals that make it up. That same attribute is also the root of the more annoying side. I often scroll through my Twitter or Facebook feed seeing the same predictable drivel from the same predictable people. Yes, of course you can unfollow or unfriend these tedious turds but even if you clear the offending individuals from your timeline, carbon copy replacements will pop up in time. So rather than spending inordinate amounts of time scrubbing my timeline, I have some wine to deal with the whining. I think some wines are particularly effective when dealing with specific types of bothersome bodies, so here is my definitive lists of wines to pair with all those eye-rolls:

Wine makes everything better

1. The Hashtag Harlots
   Platform: Twitter / Instagram
   Who are they? Characterized by promiscuous use of hashtags – hashtags everywhere – these are usually people who post to Instagram but also share directly to Twitter. Like mini SEO meltdowns, they’ll use hashtags for anything remotely related to what they’re posting as well as a few that have no bearing on the subject matter. E.g. “Yay, wine! #winewednesday #wine #merlot #riedel #alcie #OMG #vino #winecountry #WTF #BFF #crunked”
   Wine: To cut through the dense thickness of the content matter, you will need a fresh, slightly acidic Sauvignon Blanc. Something to provide you with crisp relief when you’re suffocated by a flood of inane hashtags.
2. The Mommy Not-So-Bloggers
   Platform: Facebook / Twitter
   Who are they? Referring less to bloggers who actually produce helpful, often witty, content about the perils and pearls of motherhood and more to the meaningless moanings of the pregnant and the parental. By all means, share your precious moments on social media. That’s what it’s there for. We’re (mostly) all friends here. Just be mindful that if you’ve stripped your own identity of everything besides having produced offspring (i.e. when it’s all you ever talk about or everything you say is tied into it somehow), you can’t really get prickly when people accept that and only engage in terms of your maternal status.
   Wine: Traditionally associated with maternal preferences, you’ll definitely want to avoid Chardonnay and rather go for something more exotic, but still spectacular and richly rewarding. My choice here would be a marvelous Roussanne or Semillon. While they’ll spend the foreseeable future exhausted and covered in child-manufactured fluids, you’ll still be footloose and infant free.
3. The TMI-ers
   Platform: Facebook / Twitter
   Who are they? Some people have messy lives. Drama. Intrigue. Like a 90’s soap opera. Most don’t, though. This doesn’t prevent a number of people from sharing their every tedious move in grotesque detail. It may involve a breakup. Or a bowel movement. You just never know. But you will be scarred for life.
   Wine: This will likely be a heavy situation which will require a more serious wine. You’ll need to hit back with one of the big guns – a bold Cabernet Sauvignon with a near-sedative effect to assist your recovery.
4. The “Lifestyle” bleggers
   Platform: Twitter
   Who are they? My disdain for this lot is no real secret. “What’s that? You’re a lifestyle blogger? You were at the Ford Mustang launch? You drive a Chery QQ? Riiiiiight.” Everything is amazing, as long as it’s free and on the way to them. The princes/princesses of the press drop. You’ll find a lot more integrity in the structure of the wine you’re sipping while reading their latest rave review (not like they ever write any other type of review than “rave”, of course).
   Wine: These call for something crisp, clear and contemporary to cut through the fog of BS – I’d go for an immaculate Cinsult or an honest Grenache.
5. The Candy Crush Saga inviters
   Platform: Everywhere. They’re everywhere!!!!
   There is no wine in the world that can help you deal with them. Only tequila. Or vodka. Preferably both.

The post Wines For The Worst Social Media Stereotypes appeared first on Incogvino.

Haut Espoir Shiraz 2007

Yes, you guessed it. The time has come for another #SuperFANS Twitter tasting. We’ll be hashtagging it tomorrow night (Thursday 4 September) with SuperFANS from around SA, digging into their Haut Espoir stash and sharing thoughts, opinions, tasting notes and sprinklings of white people.. err… pepper… (you had to be there).

For those not in the know, SuperFAN Twitter tastings are a fun li’l thing we do every two months or so. Our gobsmackingly fantastic member farms treat us to a special fan pack, filled with liquid treasure. We then pick two or three wines from the packs and set them aside for tasting on the night. A date and time is agreed upon by all the SuperFANS and on the night, we take to Twitter from all over the country. We sniff, swirl, squint, tweet, type, drink, hiccup and gulp our way through the wines and the whole thing plays out real-time, online.

Our lineup for tomorrow night’s tasting is as follows:

2009 Gentle Giant
2007 Shiraz
Bonus round: 2008 Shiraz (to do a mini “vertical” tasting and compare years)

Last time around, we did #TasteLithos, possibly our most interactive tasting yet. 15,236 saw #TasteLithos and the potential reach was 26,958. That’s not half bad. And I think that #TasteHautEspoir will be topping those numbers.

If you’re NOT a SuperFAN, but you want to see what all the fuss is about, follow the hashtag #TasteHautEspoir from 19:00 on Thursday 4 September. If you have some of the Haut Espoir up for tasting lying around, feel free to join in! We’re not exclusive or snobby, we think we’re pretty cool. And if you want to become a SuperFAN and be in on the action with special fan packs, events and tastings, roll on over to our contact page and give us a shout, and we’ll add you to the list. No spam, nary a newsletter or unwanted content. Just super content.

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Last night’s debauchery that was #SirisAboutWineUnderground – four floors below the #UpperEastsideHotel http://t.co/zfO6dRLSsJ

— Darryn van der Walt (@darrynvdwalt) June 3, 2014

I chatted to Bubbles Hyland to suss out where they came up with the idea for #SirisAboutWineUnderground:

“Siris Vintners like to set them selves apart from other wine merchants.  

We are very passionate about wine but don’t take ourselves too seriously.  We want to break some boundaries that are set within the wine industry.  The only difference between every wine/trade show is the wine; why is the wine industry the only industry that stagnates and doesn’t move forward with the times? We want to attract a new generation of wine lovers; make it interesting, appealing to people of all ages, races, genders etc.  We didn’t want to put on a mundane wine show.

Every year we want to do something a little unexpected.  Last year we did a pop up wine show.  So the underground theme really came from that.  Building up some excitement and speculation about the event, the venue was decided first and dictated the theme.  We wanted to isolate ourselves with no distractions from the outside world including no phone reception. It created a feeling of a cellar. A certain appealing mustiness! “

 I couldn’t have said it better myself. A brilliant push towards the unusual, the exciting and the downright fantastic, the event was extremely well received by attendees and everyone was tweeting about it (after the fact, as the reception down below was practically non-existent).  

My favourite for sure Anura Cabernet Sauvignon #sirisselfie #sirisaboutwineunderground http://t.co/LJbURVeVfm — Leslie Maliepaard (@mydesio) June 2, 2014

Lukas #winehottie @grootepost showing one of Darlings finest pinot noirs #sirisaboutwineunderground pic.twitter.com/x0qeIrr0Qh

— Spit or Swallow (@spitorswallow) June 3, 2014

Siris Vintners annual event is open to the trade and press and showcases all the wines in their portfolio. The 2014 producers were Alphabetical, Anura, Arendsig, D’Aria, De Meye, De Waal, Groote Post, Moreson, Mullineux, Nico van Der Merwe, Nitida, Post House, Quando, Seven Springs, Signal Hill and Waverley Hills. The winemakers all attend, adding another level of interaction for everyone there beyond just tasting the wines.

Siris Vintners seems to have the right idea about wine, the industry and most importantly the type of people who buy and drink the wine. I am dying to see what they have up their sleeves for the 2015 event.

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